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some things. - More Scab Than Skin.
We're just badly drawn versions of ourselves.
luxnightmare
luxnightmare
some things.
irenekaoru was all "OMG I thought you stopped keeping a personal journal but I guess you're just on Tumblr now," which is basically true but not really: Tumblr gets more of my attention, yes, but barely even that.

That said, here is a rant I wrote on ye Tumblr:

Against irony

Or maybe I mean against fameballs, or something else entirely. I’m not sure.

I’ve spent the past few days feeling exhausted. And maybe I’m tired of New York, or tired of the internet, or tired of fameballs; but what I know is this:

There are two things I just can’t stomach anymore.

1) People who seek to become famous simply for the sake of fame, with no plan or capability to offer anything substantive to society;

and

2) Perhaps worse, people who seem to be only capable of communicating in snarky soundbites, who can’t ever seem to take anything seriously and tear down everything — even good things — all for the sake of some sad little joke. (Come on, people: even Gawker has a “things we actually like” tag.)

I feel, in a lot of ways, as though I have a very different perspective from a lot of people in my social circle. Yes, kids, I am a privileged white girl, and a Jew at that, but I went to high school in the poverty-stricken city of Buffalo, where many of my classmates were not so privileged as I. More to the point, I spent the past three years working in social services, dealing with a whole mess of problems that many of my friends can’t even conceive of as anything other than stories on the news or in the paper.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that when you’ve hugged a fourteen year old girl who’s crying because you’ve just told her that she’s been diagnosed with chlamydia, or walked more than a few high school girls through their first or second or third pregnancy scare, or even pregnancy and abortion, well, the trials and tribulations of Julia Allison seem very petty, to say the least.

What makes me so sad is this gutwrenching feeling that my generation has no desire to give back, no desire to create anything of worth, anything of value: that all we really care about is ourselves, and our profiles, and the ability to get our faces on the teevee.

I would like to believe that there is something worth more than that. I would like to believe that we might, at some point, stand for something more than ourselves.

Here’s hoping, kids.
6 monkeys or Wanna buy a monkey?
Comments
oletheros From: oletheros Date: August 2nd, 2008 12:42 am (UTC) (Link)
i admit to checking my tumblr reblogging stats to see who's grabbing what i put up. at the same time, the crowds i tumbl in are all about eye-candy, so it's got a sociological "what do people find attractive?" edge to it.
dskasak From: dskasak Date: August 2nd, 2008 02:05 am (UTC) (Link)
I would like to believe that there is something worth more than that. I would like to believe that we might, at some point, stand for something more than ourselves.

I'm at a very similar point right now. My burnout factors include hipster narcissism, gossipy media coverage that resembles chatter in a high school cafeteria, pointless wheel-spinning with life, and the perception that one should not try for anything better than what one currently receives.

I'm also getting burnt out living in a city that is very similar to Buffalo--Saint Louis is Buffalo with a baseball team--that has a defeatist, insular, small-town attitude that perversely engenders an exaggerated sense of pride amongst its "insiders," where outsiders have a difficult time fitting in and may not want to when all is said and done. After living here for three years, the number of friends and acquaintances I have can be counted on one hand. Most of these people are a lot younger than me, since those in my age group have long since fled for vinyl-clad homes in exurbs, and now concern themselves about their kids' homework and when to walk the dog.

I'm also burnt out at my job and with my home life, but that's a rant for another time...maybe. I want something better for myself and for my surroundings, where I feel fulfilled by what I do and that it actually matters, and that a state of jaded cynicism becomes the exception rather than the default. The only way out is through, I hope.
ccarrico From: ccarrico Date: August 2nd, 2008 02:42 am (UTC) (Link)
I think most generations are pretty self-centered when they're in young adulthood; and besides, there are a lot of folks who *do* give back what they can. You do (the aforementioned work teaching critically important sex ed), I do (vaccine research), and a large percentage of my friends do to, in innumerable capacities and causes. And I've got a hunch that even most of the folks who don't will pull their heads out of the sand eventually once they feel comfortable as adults; most of the people I know who insist on spending significant portions of their time on inane nonsense do it because they need a way to escape from the real world, not because they really take it so seriously.

So I'd say the glass may not be half full yet, but we're still adding water faster than we're drinking it.
luxnightmare From: luxnightmare Date: August 2nd, 2008 03:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well put.

This reminded me to say something that's not explicit in the post -- which is that I don't think one has to be in social services to give back to society. I think making art, creating things of beauty, fighting for justice -- really, just doing anything that makes the world a nicer place, doing anything that's not just about getting attention for yourself -- is all a valid, wonderful way to spend a life, and I'm grateful to people who occupy their time thusly.
lenablair From: lenablair Date: August 2nd, 2008 12:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I like the way you 'blog Lux. Well-put.
shmiggity From: shmiggity Date: August 5th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC) (Link)
another fameball to put on your shit list: justine of ijustine.com or tastyblogsnack.com. UGH. BLONDES.
6 monkeys or Wanna buy a monkey?